{"id":115902,"date":"2026-09-18T01:04:39","date_gmt":"2026-09-18T05:04:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/?p=115902"},"modified":"2026-09-18T01:04:39","modified_gmt":"2026-09-18T05:04:39","slug":"should-i-lend-money-to-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/what-jesus-teaches\/should-i-lend-money-to-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Should I Lend Money to Family? What Luke 6:35 Says"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class='booster-block booster-read-block'>\n                <div class=\"twp-read-time\">\n                \t<i class=\"booster-icon twp-clock\"><\/i> <span>Read Time:<\/span>12 Minute, 21 Second                <\/div>\n\n            <\/div><p>The message usually arrives quietly. A brother, a cousin, an adult child, a parent. <em>&#8220;Can I ask you something? I hate to ask&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p>And before you have even read the rest, your stomach already knows. They need money. They say it is a loan. They say they will pay it back by the end of the month.<\/p>\n\n<p>Part of you wants to help straight away. This is family. Another part of you is doing sums. Can I afford this? What if it doesn&#8217;t come back? What if it does come back, but late, and every family meal between now and then feels strange?<\/p>\n\n<p>If you are asking yourself, &#8220;Should I lend money to family?&#8221;, you are not being cold. You are being careful with two things you love at the same time: the person, and your own household. The good news is that Jesus spoke to this exact moment. What He said is more practical than most people expect.<\/p>\n\n<h2>Should I Lend Money to Family? Start With a Different Question<\/h2>\n\n<p>Most advice on lending money to family lands in the same place: only lend what you could afford to lose. It is good advice. But notice what it quietly admits. A family loan often does not come back, or not in full, or not on time.<\/p>\n\n<p>So the real question underneath &#8220;should I lend?&#8221; is this: <strong>if this money never came back, could I live with it, and could I still love them?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p>That question sounds modern. It is actually very old. Jesus asked a version of it about two thousand years ago, and the Law of Moses asked it long before that.<\/p>\n\n<div class=\"convertkit-form wp-block-convertkit-form\" style=\"\"><script async data-uid=\"bb8885f220\" src=\"https:\/\/bgodinspired.kit.com\/bb8885f220\/index.js\" data-jetpack-boost=\"ignore\" data-no-defer=\"1\" data-no-optimize=\"1\" nowprocket><\/script><\/div>\n\n\n<h2>What Jesus Actually Said About Lending in Luke 6:35<\/h2>\n\n<p>In Luke 6, Jesus is teaching a crowd on a level place, not long after choosing the twelve. It is Luke&#8217;s version of the teaching many people know from the Sermon on the Mount. In the middle of it, Jesus talks about money in a way that sounds almost too plain:<\/p>\n\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.&#8221;<br>(Luke 6:34, KJV)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n<p>In other words: lending to someone you expect to pay you back is normal. Everyone does that. There is nothing special about it. Then comes the line that turns everything around:<\/p>\n\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.&#8221;<br>(Luke 6:35, KJV)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n<p>Look at who is in that sentence. Enemies. The unthankful. If Jesus says to lend like this to people who are against you, then a sister who is behind on rent is well inside the circle.<\/p>\n\n<p>And look at the reason Jesus gives. Not &#8220;because they deserve it.&#8221; Not &#8220;because they will be grateful.&#8221; The reason is that this is what God is like. God is kind to people who never say thank you. When you lend this way, you look like family. God&#8217;s family.<\/p>\n\n<h2>The Word in Luke 6:35 That Appears Nowhere Else<\/h2>\n\n<p>Here is a detail most people read straight past. The Greek word behind &#8220;hoping for nothing again&#8221; is <em>apelpizontes<\/em>. It appears only once in the whole New Testament, right here.<\/p>\n\n<p>Older English Bibles read it the way the King James does: expect nothing back. Most modern translations still do. But outside this verse, the word usually meant something closer to &#8220;to give up hope&#8221; or &#8220;to despair.&#8221; That is why the English Revised Version of 1881 translated the line differently: <strong>&#8220;lend, never despairing.&#8221;<\/strong> Its margin even noted that some old manuscripts read &#8220;despairing of no man.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n<p>Scholars still discuss which reading is best, and the traditional one is well supported by the flow of the passage. But hold both readings side by side for a moment, because together they say something beautiful about family money:<\/p>\n\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Hoping for nothing again:<\/strong> give in a way that doesn&#8217;t need the money back.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Never despairing:<\/strong> give in a way that doesn&#8217;t make you anxious, bitter, or hopeless if it doesn&#8217;t come back.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Despairing of no one:<\/strong> give in a way that doesn&#8217;t write the person off.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<p>That is the heart of a healthy family loan. Your peace isn&#8217;t tied to their repayment. Your love isn&#8217;t tied to their repayment either.<\/p>\n\n<h2>Moses Saw This Exact Problem Coming<\/h2>\n\n<p>Jesus wasn&#8217;t inventing a new idea. He was drawing on something Israel had been told for centuries.<\/p>\n\n<p>Exodus 22:25 says: <em>&#8220;If thou lend money to any of my people that is poor by thee, thou shalt not be to him as an usurer, neither shalt thou lay upon him usury.&#8221;<\/em> A loan to someone in need was never meant to be a business deal.<\/p>\n\n<p>Deuteronomy 15 goes further, and it contains one of the most human sentences in the whole Law. Every seventh year was a &#8220;year of release,&#8221; when debts between neighbours were let go. (It was a smaller, more frequent cousin of the <a href=\"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/what-jesus-teaches\/year-of-jubilee-in-the-bible\/\">Year of Jubilee, the great debt reset God scheduled<\/a>.) Moses knew exactly what people would do with that rule. They would stop lending as the seventh year got close, because the loan would be cancelled before it came back. So the Law says it out loud:<\/p>\n\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Beware that there be not a thought in thy wicked heart, saying, The seventh year, the year of release, is at hand; and thine eye be evil against thy poor brother, and thou givest him nought&#8230;&#8221;<br>(Deuteronomy 15:9, KJV)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n<p>Now watch the words. Verse 8 says, <em>&#8220;thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt surely lend him sufficient for his need.&#8221;<\/em> Then verse 10, about the very same person and the very same need, says: <em>&#8220;Thou shalt surely give him, and thine heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p>Lend in verse 8. Give in verse 10. The Bible slides from one word to the other without stopping, because in God&#8217;s eyes a loan to someone in need was always halfway to a gift. And the goal was a heart that would not be &#8220;grieved&#8221; by it. Never despairing, you might say.<\/p>\n\n<h2>The Bible Doesn&#8217;t Pretend the Borrower Has No Part to Play<\/h2>\n\n<p>None of this means repayment doesn&#8217;t matter. Scripture is honest about the other side of the table too.<\/p>\n\n<p>Psalm 37:21 says, <em>&#8220;The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.&#8221;<\/em> Paying back what you borrowed is part of living with integrity. If you are the one who borrowed, this matters for you. (And if debt is weighing on you right now, you may find this helpful: <a href=\"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/bible-resources\/bible-answers\/tithing-while-in-debt\/\">what the Bible actually says about tithing while in debt<\/a>.)<\/p>\n\n<p>Proverbs 22:7 names what a loan quietly does to a relationship: <em>&#8220;The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n<p>That line isn&#8217;t a command. It&#8217;s an observation. And it explains why family loans can hurt so much. The moment the money changes hands, your brother is not only your brother anymore. He is also, in a small way, your debtor. You notice what he spends. He avoids your calls. Christmas and birthdays get awkward. The loan rearranges the family without anyone meaning it to.<\/p>\n\n<h2>The Turn: How Much Could You Afford to Give Away?<\/h2>\n\n<p>Put Luke 6:35 and Proverbs 22:7 side by side and something clicks.<\/p>\n\n<p>A loan you are counting on puts someone you love under you. A gift you can survive not getting back keeps them beside you.<\/p>\n\n<p>That is why &#8220;lend, hoping for nothing again&#8221; isn&#8217;t just a hard teaching. It is a kind one. It protects the relationship far better than any repayment plan could. It turns the whole question around. Instead of <em>&#8220;Should I lend them this much?&#8221;<\/em> you ask, <strong>&#8220;How much could I give away, and still sleep at night, and still love them the same?&#8221;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p>Sometimes the answer is the full amount. Wonderful. Give it, call it a loan if that helps their dignity, and quietly let go of it in your heart the moment it leaves your hands.<\/p>\n\n<p>Sometimes the answer is less than they asked for. That is not a failure of faith. You can say, &#8220;I can&#8217;t lend you that, but I&#8217;d love to give you this, and you never need to pay it back.&#8221; Many people find that a smaller gift with no strings does more good, for both of you, than a bigger loan that hangs over every conversation.<\/p>\n\n<p>And sometimes the honest answer is: &#8220;I can&#8217;t do money right now, but I can help another way.&#8221; Driving them to an interview. A week of meals. Sitting with them while they call the landlord. Jesus&#8217; teaching isn&#8217;t a formula that makes you give what your own family needs to eat. It is a picture of a heart that holds money loosely and people tightly.<\/p>\n\n<h2>If You Already Lent the Money and It Never Came Back<\/h2>\n\n<p>Maybe you are reading this too late. You lent the money. It hasn&#8217;t come back. Every time you see them, you feel it.<\/p>\n\n<p>Here is the freeing part of Luke 6:35 and Deuteronomy 15. You can still decide, today, to turn that loan into a gift. Not because they earned it. Because you&#8217;d rather have your brother or sister than the money, and because that is how God has treated you. You don&#8217;t even have to tell them straight away. You can simply release it before God first, and see how the next family dinner feels.<\/p>\n\n<p>If that feels impossible right now, that&#8217;s honest too. Letting go of a debt is a lot like forgiveness, and forgiveness is often a process, not a switch. This free tool can help you see where you are: <a href=\"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/am-i-ready-to-forgive\/\">Am I Ready to Forgive?<\/a><\/p>\n\n<h2>Actions to Take<\/h2>\n\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Write down your &#8220;gift number.&#8221;<\/strong> Before you reply to anyone, open the notes app on your phone and write the amount you could give away and never think about again. Not what they asked for. What you could release. That number is your real answer.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Change one word in your reply.<\/strong> If you decide to help, try: &#8220;I&#8217;d like to give you this. If you&#8217;re ever able to pay it forward, or back, great, but you don&#8217;t owe me.&#8221; Read it out loud once before you send it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Release one old loan.<\/strong> If someone already owes you money, say their name and the amount out loud to God, and say, &#8220;I let this go.&#8221; Then delete the reminder, the note, or the mental tally you&#8217;ve been keeping.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n<h2>Journaling Prompts<\/h2>\n\n<ul>\n<li>When you picture this money never coming back, what feeling comes up first: fear, anger, or sadness? What is that feeling trying to protect?<\/li>\n<li>Think of a time someone gave you something you could never repay. How did it change the way you saw them, and the way you saw yourself?<\/li>\n<li>If your relationship with this person were worth more than the money, what would you do differently this week?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<h2>A Prayer for When Family Asks for Money<\/h2>\n\n<p><em>God, someone I love needs help, and I feel pulled in two directions. I want to be generous, but I&#8217;m scared of losing the money and scared of what it might do between us. Show me what I can give with an open hand and a peaceful heart. Help me hold money loosely and people tightly, the way You have held me. And if there&#8217;s an old debt I&#8217;m still carrying against someone, give me the courage to let it go. Amen.<\/em><\/p>\n\n<h2>Discussion Question<\/h2>\n\n<p>Is it better to lend money to family as a loan with clear terms, or to only ever give what you can afford to lose? Share what you&#8217;ve learned, the hard way or the good way, in the comments below.<\/p>\n\n<div class=\"convertkit-form wp-block-convertkit-form\" style=\"\"><script async data-uid=\"bb8885f220\" src=\"https:\/\/bgodinspired.kit.com\/bb8885f220\/index.js\" data-jetpack-boost=\"ignore\" data-no-defer=\"1\" data-no-optimize=\"1\" nowprocket><\/script><\/div>\n\n\n<h2>Share This<\/h2>\n\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Lend, hoping for nothing again.&#8221; I used to read that as a burden. Now I think Jesus was protecting my family from what a loan does to love.<\/li>\n<li>Before I lend money to family, I&#8217;ve started asking one question: could I give this away and still love them the same? If yes, it&#8217;s a gift. If no, it&#8217;s not the right amount.<\/li>\n<li>In Deuteronomy 15, God&#8217;s Law says &#8220;lend&#8221; in one verse and &#8220;give&#8221; two verses later, about the same person. A loan to someone in need was always halfway to a gift.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n<h2>Questions People Ask About Lending Money to Family<\/h2>\n\n<h3>Should I lend money to family?<\/h3>\n<p>Lending money to family can be a real act of love, but it works best when the amount is small enough that you could give it away without resentment. Jesus taught in Luke 6:35 to &#8220;lend, hoping for nothing again,&#8221; which means lending in a way that doesn&#8217;t depend on repayment. Many people find it healthier to give a smaller amount as a gift than to lend a larger amount they need back.<\/p>\n\n<h3>What does the Bible say about lending money to family?<\/h3>\n<p>The Bible encourages generous lending to people in need, especially relatives. Exodus 22:25 forbids charging interest to a poor neighbour, Deuteronomy 15:8 tells God&#8217;s people to &#8220;lend him sufficient for his need,&#8221; and Luke 6:35 records Jesus saying to &#8220;lend, hoping for nothing again.&#8221; Psalm 37:21 also says that borrowers should repay, so Scripture speaks to both sides of a loan.<\/p>\n\n<h3>What does &#8220;lend, hoping for nothing again&#8221; mean in Luke 6:35?<\/h3>\n<p>In Luke 6:35, &#8220;lend, hoping for nothing again&#8221; means lending without depending on getting the money back. The Greek word used, apelpizontes, appears only once in the New Testament. The English Revised Version of 1881 translated it &#8220;never despairing,&#8221; so the verse can also be read as lending without anxiety or bitterness if the money doesn&#8217;t return.<\/p>\n\n<h3>Is it a sin to say no when family asks to borrow money?<\/h3>\n<p>Saying no to a family loan is not automatically a sin. The Bible calls for generosity, but it does not require anyone to give away what their own household needs to live. A wise response may be a smaller gift, practical help such as meals or transport, or an honest &#8220;not right now,&#8221; offered with love rather than judgment.<\/p>\n\n<h3>What should I do if a family member never paid back a loan?<\/h3>\n<p>If a family member never repaid a loan, one option is to release the debt and treat the money as a gift. Deuteronomy 15 describes a regular &#8220;year of release&#8221; when debts were let go, and Jesus taught lending that doesn&#8217;t depend on repayment. 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Jesus said lend, hoping for nothing again. Here is what that really means, and how to help without losing the person you love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":115901,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"0","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[7696,3718,52],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-115902","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-money-and-finance","category-relationships-and-family","category-what-jesus-teaches"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115902","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=115902"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115902\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":115903,"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/115902\/revisions\/115903"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/115901"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=115902"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=115902"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bgodinspired.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=115902"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}